The Dentist

I have  a few fears in life. Spiders, flying..and dentists! I have not had dental insurance in over 10 years so you know what that means? No Dentist. The last time I went to the Dentist I was pregnant and had a God awful tooth ache. I had my visit but could not get anything for the pain because of being pregnant. The Dentist looked at my teeth and told me to make an appointment to come back for a filling and whatever else..he let me walk out untreated and in pain. I stood at the counter to make my appointment and passed out. There was a guy standing behind me, he stepped out of the way and let my visibly pregnant ass fall. I was in so much pain that I physically passed out. That was it. Never was going to see a Dentist again. It traumatized me.
When my kids need check ups and cleanings, I cant even take them. I have panic attacks just sitting in the waiting room. My Husband has to take them... yeah, it's bad!
People have always complimented my smile. I have an overbite but for some reason it works for me. Check it out!

 This is my drunk cheesy smile from like 6 years ago

 My shit eating grin posing with my handsome Brother!

 Yep, thats me and my Husband from about 8 years ago..man!!

Imagine my horror when one of my K9 teeth got a cavity and caused the whole front of the tooth to fall completely off. I freaked OUT! I knew it would mean I would have to go to the dentist. No insurance. This was the main reason my Hubby and I got married and are having the reception later. I needed insurance to get it fixed. Even in my wedding pictures, You don't see my teeth in my smile. I always smile with my teeth showing. I had to learn how to manipulate my smile so it didn't look like I had a hole in my mouth..pathetic!

Today I had my dentist appointment. Time to get the baby fixed. Time to take a Xanax and PRAY! I consider my self a "spiritual" person. (My religion I keep private because I don't like to be judged). Today I got on my knees and prayed to all that would listen..please give me the strength and the courage to make it today!! I went to the office strangely calm (by my standards). I was greeted by wonderful ladies and surrounded by an office that was VERY feng shui. A calmness came over me. I went into the room and waited on the verdict. The tooth cant be saved. Time for a root canal. Can you believe it!! Of all the damn things people dread with the dentist...it's a root canal.
The Dentist then proceeded to file off my entire tooth (Ok sorry to make you cringe) and then did a root canal. I laid in the chair with my eyes closed almost half asleep. The only thing the doc did was numb me. He then placed a temporary cap on my tooth. All done! I have to go back next Wednesday to get the root canal finished and my teeth cleaned. He will then re-add the temp cap and I will be set..for now. I will have to get an implant.
 I conquered one of the biggest fears in my life today. I know all those I called in prayer helped me through this and I am so grateful. One day at a time you can conquer your fears... with a little faith.
I am so proud of myself, and today all I did was smile again.