Rules for my Husband

There are a few rules in my house pertaining to my Husband.

I buy your clothes. This is not 1996 anymore. You no longer have "game" and you seem to be stuck in the 90s. If I ever see you wear black socks with brown shoes again I will divorce you. If I ever see you wear black dress shoes with navy pants again, I will divorce you.
Bowling shirts. Unless you are Charlie Sheen getting paid 2 million an episode, you will no longer wear those ugly ass things. I know you rocked them back in the day..but back in the day is gone.

Jeans. OMG!!! 1996 still!! Holy shit please quit wearing those out dated things!!! I think the ankle part is tapered. They are solid blue with no texture or style.

I pick your hairstyle. Yep, I made you re do it because it was out of style. Again, not the 90s dear!It looked like a mix between Vanilla Ice and a ski slope.
Shoes. Oh dear God! This man can NOT buy shoes!  We went to Dicks Sporting Goods for gym shoes. Glad I was there. He had the kid bring him these FUGLY ass Under Armor black mesh style gym shoes. WTF?! Are you running a marathon? Last I checked the only running you do is to the shitter after eating Hooters. I will not be seen with you wearing Under Armor gym shoes. I told the salesperson to take them away because they were ugly. My Husband walked out shoeless and pissed. On the way out he told the salesman to never get married.
Yes, these are the shoes.Maybe you can wear it with your killer jeans and white socks!

Speaking of socks.. those ankle ones. Wow, they are ugly. Can't you just get some no show socks? Just because there is a Nike swoosh on your ankle sock (like pictured) doesn't make them any cooler dear.

I do love my Husband really. His fashion sense just blows. Men, please think of your ladies when going out in public. It is a direct reflection on us.

No comments: